Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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