We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
