I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
