then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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