Your mouth is God's brothel.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
