was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
