Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Randomize
