She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
