I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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