guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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