i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
