Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
