I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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