I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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