would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
