Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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