Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it hurts more in the daytime
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
