Betty ford says i'm here all night
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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