I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
