Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize