We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
