your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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