And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
