I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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