So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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