Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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