U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
