I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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