Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
