u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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