I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
