Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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