you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Green mimosas i think yes
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
