Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
