note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
