these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize