Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
