Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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