he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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