I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
