I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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