no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
