we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
