wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
