shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she smelled like a LAN party
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
