May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
