Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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