we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
