they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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