SEEEEXXX PLEASE
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
