She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
tell me about the fingering
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