That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The adults are the big ones right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
