If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
