FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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