When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
