So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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