You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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