garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
