Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Boobs are out for the taking
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
