I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
