Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
