Too much gin, very little bucket
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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