pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
